Letter to my Son…
Hey Sim! Happy early Birthday!
I want to say some things publicly that I have told you privately, as a way of remembering the kind of man you are.
I am so very thankful for you, not to mention proud, and want you to know
that I really am quite speechless when I think upon you and your life. You are so very
far advanced in the things of the Lord… of worship, spiritual life, and arenas of isolation.
It is the isolation that is most important, not that you become a monk, but it is a position of the heart that the Lord values and is critical for the development of a leader. You, sir, are a leader whether you embrace it now or not. The kind of leader you become is what we all “wrassle” with. Its success is singularly founded in the love of God and cannot be measured “man to man”, but “God to the man”. Isolation is one of the perks… so to speak. But it is also something that must be managed well, which you brought out, as our children will sense it as neglect, too busy, too tired, etc. if mishandled. Learn from my flaws.
It’s kind of like a question I asked the Lord back in the 1970’s, which was “when is a
person a true prophet, called of God?” Is it when he first speaks prophetically, or when
he is recognized publicly, locally, or nationally? Or a self awareness sort of thing? No,
no, no! Though God knew you from the beginning, he called you in the womb! He who
hears with acceptance, and obeys is who you are. It was a mantle wrapped around you
before January 12, 1980. He decides. It is a progressive awakening, and we do wrestle
with God… until God wins. He is the Uber-Bodog fighter and is prone to hurt us until
we tap out. Some want to label our struggle as rebellion, but it is really a heart that
must know for itself, and isn’t afraid what others may think. If anything, it is God rebelling against us, awesome proof of his love for me, beckoning me closer, deeper, quieter. A place where he can share his suffering with us & we with him… a fellowship that is real.
I wanted to begin with a statement that the Lord spoke to me while you were being
delivered some 3 decades ago. (it took 17 hours of labor!) I think it is appropriate at this time when staring down any of fear’s attempts at intimidation… or challenging our royal rights.
“There is but a brief dyslexic moment between scared and sacred…
and he (you) will continually risk all for the sacred.”
You have demonstrated courage in many areas already… even as you shared your experiences with me and mom. Overcoming is important only in that Jesus has already
overcome. It is not my might, power, determination… but resting in what has been accomplished on the cross. We overcome by the blood of the lamb, his testimony in us,
and we love his life more than our own. As first-borne, the blessing is his to share.
As I wrote about a musician’s (David) life years ago, you were constantly there, the one who I prayed and sang these words over. It chronicles the making of a leader in the days
of my fear.
You do inspire… it’s just what you do. A dancing heart serves you well!
Lovedmadlydeeplymuchly,
papa
